Based on some data about the men of NCS we know that over 80% of you have kids under the age of 20. That makes this coming Sunday June16th, Father’s Day an important day. It is amazing that currently Gillette Razor company is doing the best job of speaking into the father-son relationship in a series of commercials released every year in June. NCS is focusing on “What is your story?” and how can we come to understand our own story.
One of the strongest points of connection between men in NCS is in the area of fatherhood. It seems we all feel somewhat under qualified and poorly trained. Some of you have young kids and are learning to train and guide, often in ways different from their own upbringing. Some others have older children who are coming into adulthood in a world that offers no roadmap and seems to be entirely new everyday. Some have children that are already out in this world and are trying to define themselves, make a mark for themselves, to make their dad proud…and often feel like they are failing. Many of you have children who are now parents themselves and may or may not want you involved. I have met men who are intensely proud of their kids as parents and I have met men who have deep regret about how they parented and wish they could go back and fix things.
The fact is that we all have a connection to the word Father, and if you ask a man about his dad you will always hear something significant. NCS needs to be known as the place where men can tell their stories freely, especially the stories of their dads.
A question that always yields powerful sharing from NCS men, whether they are 20 or 80 is “What is the most important interaction you had with your father?” Some answers will be deeply touching, some will be heartbreaking and often a man will ask “Which father?” That is the start of an important story right there.
Here are a couple stories I recently heard…
“My father was a pastor and always wanted me to go into the ministry but I wanted no part of it. I was a HS state champion pole vaulter and with decent grades, I got into UCLA and studied business and finance. I loved the work and was offered a position with a boutique investment house in NY and I never looked back. I think my father never understood that and I always wanted to let him know that I respected his work, even though I was not drawn to it myself. One of the guys in my NCS chapter challenged me to tell him that last year on Father’s day and I am so glad I did. It was definitely the most important moment in our relationship.”
“My father was an inventor and was a truly inspiring man. He was also a man of deep faith and a great father. When I was 17, I called home from boarding school to announce that I been accepted into my top choice university and as soon as my mother answered I knew something was terribly wrong. My father had suffered a stroke from a blood clot in his brain and had died only 2 hours before my call. My mother never forgave God for that and I have a hard time with it too. I didn’t even know how special he was until I was older and he was gone.”
Our dad story has so much to do with our identity and the way we look at life, faith, family and our own worth. Dad’s always leave their fingerprints on us.
What is your story?
-James Anderson, Executive Partner