NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Going from Mess to Mission (Nick Agneto – 2/17/23 – NCS New Canaan)

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With extraordinary humility and vulnerability (and his father in attendance), Nick Agneto shares the amazing journey from “mess to mission” that was prophesied when he was just a boy.

Nick describes a typical childhood in a dutifully religious and loving family followed by an adolescence searching for love and intimacy in all the wrong places. He talks, in “spoken word” poetic style and with remarkable transparency, about the “mess”–a tale of women and nightclubs fueled by a cornucopia of drugs that left a trail of brokenness.

Agneto recalls learning about the awakening of his father’s faith and the way he quietly pursued God, all the while modeling a new way of being for his family. Nick shares the anger he felt toward God in the middle of the “mess” as he searched for intimacy and God pursued him.

Nick also tells the amazing story of his miraculous and instantaneous healing at the hands of a visiting preacher through the power of the Holy Spirit. It was a healing that transformed his life, launching him toward the life of “mission” prophesied by a Catholic priest when Nick was an altar boy. Nick explains that he made a decision that day to follow Jesus whole-heartedly.

Nick challenges us to take the step he finally took–to choose intimacy with Jesus, to choose healing, to choose new life, to choose to know His love so that we can love others, to say “I want you, Lord!”. He challenges us to listen for God, to hear what He has for our lives, and to “be about our Father’s business”. He challenges us to share the story of the cross and how it has changed our stories. He challenges us as NCS brudders to “show up” for each other.

A Tale of Tragedy, Triumph and Changed Lives (Tom Mallon – 1/20/23 – NCS New Canaan)

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Tom Mallon humbly shares the incredible journey that took him from growing up in southern Ohio (a la “Hillbilly Elegy”) as one of seven children with nine people living in a three-bedroom, one-bathroom home to building and selling his company in an innovative way that changed the lives of his employees.

Tom describes a turning point in his faith when he asked God what it meant to be “saved”, and God vividly revealed situations in which He had provided for Tom supernaturally. From that revelation, he knew God loved him and that he was “saved”.

Tom recounts his career path from working in the local glass factory, to selling books door-to-door for seven summers (including as a Harvard Business School graduate without a job), to 11 years in commercial real estate, to watching his first business venture fail due to a bad partnership, to starting the business that he would eventually build, sell to an ESOP and then sell to a Catholic health system, resulting in the lives of his employees being profoundly changed (13 employees becoming millionaires, 3 more receiving $900,000 and even the lowest-paid employees walking away with $400-500,000).

Tom vulnerably shares how God used a triple-tragedy (death of his first business dream, death of his father, and a health challenge) to “roto-rooter” his soul in preparation for his second business venture.

He describes the growth of his second venture and the drawn-out sale process that took the business through two letters of intent before the Holy Spirit convicted him to pursue an ESOP sale by asking “what is the best business decision you can make for your company’s future that will increase the ministry and mission of the business?” Tom also shares how the faithful culture of the business grew after the ESOP sale.

Finally, Tom explains the lessons he learned about the importance of “aligned capital” and how those lessons led to the formation of his current venture, Perpetuate Capital.

Following Jesus (One Less Sin at a Time) (David Montoya – 10/22/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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With unbelievable honesty and humility, David Montoya shares a life and faith journey that brings to life the promise in Ezekiel 36:26: “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”  

David vulnerably shares difficult and pivotal moments of his early years, including the time his fiancé died in his arms on the way to the hospital–events that he says changed the course of his life. At that time, a therapist told David he had the greatest fear of death the therapist had ever seen.

With tremendous transparency, Montoya tells about his later years as a lawyer and a venture capitalist, describing himself as “evil”–having no regard to the carnage left behind on the road to “winning”. He explains how that heart of stone began to transform when a friend invited him to a New Canaan Society event in San Francisco.

While David’s heart transformation has been ongoing since he first began attending NCS in 2015, David reveals a recent and extraordinary near-death experience that had a profound impact on his fear of death–he says it is gone.

Deal With It! (Brian Lahoue – 3/12/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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In his talk, Brian Lahoue shares key insights from his book “Deal With It!: How to Stop Running from People, Problems, and Pressure”. In an extended Q&A, he opens up with tremendous vulnerability about the personal struggles and challenges that led to a dramatic encounter with God and, ultimately, writing a book to help others confront and “deal with” the past experiences that may be sabotaging their relationships and lives.

Lahoue describes the link between psychological concepts such as “attribution error” and Biblical principles and demonstrates why “confrontation” can be a tool for expressing love toward those in our life. In fact, he goes so far as to assert that confrontation is a “moral imperative” for followers of Jesus.

Brian explains concepts such as:

  • Our problems often come not from the reality of our past but from our perception of that reality. Through confrontation, we can understand a different way to view past events–which can change how we are impacted by them–which, in turn, can heal the problematic ways in which we engage life, perceive reality and relate to other people.
  • Even when we do not have the power to change our reality, we have the power to change how we react to our reality.
  • What it means to be a “peacemaker”.
  • How the Biblical commands to pray for our enemies and avoid judgment can free our heart to treat people with greater love.
  • Our greatest agency is to choose who we serve–Jesus or the worldly system over which Satan is the prince–which requires understanding the spiritual dimension of the negative messages that bombard us constantly in an effort to trigger destructive attitudes that can lead to destructive behaviors.
  • The gift of the Holy Spirit, who can help us recognize Satan’s words and choose the way of Jesus.
  • Why we can try to outrun people but we can’t outrun our problems (and why those who “run away” through divorce are at risk of divorcing again).
  • The power of compassion, humility (recognizing our own weakness) and gratitude (knowing we have been forgiven) to heal relationships and help us “renew our minds”.

Brian also offers practical suggestions on how to remain grounded in healthy perceptions of our reality and relationships, consistent with following Jesus.

You can purchase a copy of Brian’s book at this link.

Becoming Free To Heal the World (J. Kevin Butcher – 10/16/20 – NCS New England Chapters)

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[The weekend of Oct 16-18, 2020 was meant to be the 2020 NCS New England Retreat, and J. Kevin Butcher was scheduled to be our Spiritual Guide. Our theme was to be Embrace an “F-Word”: Freedom. The COVID pandemic changed all that, but Kevin graciously and generously agreed to speak to a joint meeting of the NCS New England Chapters on what would have been the first day of the 2020 Retreat (the Retreat is rescheduled for November 5-7, 2021 with Kevin).]

Kevin Butcher is like us because he is an NCS brother (a member of NCS Grosse Pointe). He is like us because he is a man. He is like us because he has struggled with the difference between “knowing Jesus” and “knowing ABOUT Jesus” (and we all know that the lyrics of the NCS theme song “Knowing You” by Graham Kendrick says it is about “knowing Jesus”). He is like us because he spent years filling the emptiness in his heart with all the wrong stuff (none of which works). Kevin shares with tremendous NCS vulnerability his “performance” life and where it led him.

But Kevin Butcher is unlike many of us because he finally “got it”. As he says, our lives begin when we realize God loves us. Butcher explains that we can’t live out the commandment in John 13:34 to love others as Jesus loves us if we have not realized Jesus’s love–not “knowing” in our head He loves us but “experiencing” His love. Kevin emphasizes through stories from his own experience how much the world is broken and hurting, how much people are looking for the healing love of Jesus, even if they don’t know it, and how healing the love of Jesus can be when poured out by us.

Butcher runs through a thought-provoking and heart-wrenching list of the types of things men use to fill the emptiness. He shares that these are “signs” and not things to “fix”–they are “signs” that we are still living in bondage, which means we may be “functional” but we are not “free”.

As we begin to get lost in the pain of seeing ourselves on (or all over) that list, Kevin then provides a path to freedom–the freedom necessary to heal a broken and hurting world by truly loving others as Jesus loves us. That path is focused on three key relationships:

  • Our relationship with ourself (hint: we have to stop lying to ourselves about ourselves)
  • Our relationship with God (hint: we have to see God is an Abba father who loves us)
  • Our relationship with others (hint: we need to move toward one another in the body of Christ to bring and receive healing through love).

Kevin Butcher is coming out with a new book to be released April 6, 2021 called “Free”. Click HERE to visit Kevin’s page at Tyndale House Publishers.

There is another song by Graham Kendrick (who wrote the NCS theme “Knowing You”) that perfectly captures John 13:34–it is called “Love Each Other”. Together, these two songs are a wonderful accompaniment to Kevin’s message. Here are the official lyric videos.

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