Dealing with Emotions

Finding Peace: Christian Mindfulness and the Holy Spirit (Steve Gilbert – 3/3/23 – NCS New Canaan)

March 3, 2023 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

Steve Gilbert vulnerably shares, from his own experiences as a therapist and a man, about the power of “Christian mindfulness” to help us find peace through an understanding of God’s constant presence through the Holy Spirit.

Gilbert explains that the last three years have been a struggle in his role as a therapist. His struggle has come from watching an increasing number of other people struggle with addiction, depression and relational issues as a result of the pandemic. Steve talks about how this struggle has challenged his faith.

Steve describes the important difference between practicing “mindfulness” and “Christian mindfulness” as a path to lessening anxiety and finding peace. He explains that the practice of “mindfulness” is “just about you” being in the moment, while “Christian mindfulness” includes Jesus and the recognition that the Holy Spirit dwells within us and is with us, always, in the moment.

Gilbert reveals how our prayers are so often misguided in failing to recognize God’s presence with us and in us through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, and he offers how prayers change when we recognize that reality.

Steve describes the difference between “shame” and “guilt” and the power of “shame” to block our ability to be mindful of Christ’s presence, and he goes on to explain how we can break that blockage.

Steve also reveals and explains the frequent lie of “religion” that we can manufacture personal holiness and overcome the temptations of sin through spiritual “self-help” disciplines, which too often create pharisees and legalism.

Gilbert shares how we can overcome the temptations of sin, be transformed “from inside out”, and find peace through “Christian mindfulness”–understanding that God dwells within us always through the Holy Spirit.

Adventures of a Urogynecologist (Dr. Bob Lobel – 1/6/23 – NCS New Canaan)

January 6, 2023 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

With incredible courage, humility and vulnerability, Dr. Bob Lobel shares the challenges and pain that can come from “family of origin” problems–in his case never feeling he could meet his father’s expectations.

Bob explains that, despite being seen by others as a hugely successful and confident surgeon, those childhood feelings manifested as intense “shame” that has impacted his marriage, relationships, career and life. He describes it as a “chronic illness” that requires daily “medication”.

Despite growing up in a home devoid of religion or God, Bob talks about the deep faith that has helped him survive horrific tragedies, including the loss of a child to SIDs and his first wife to cancer.

As the founder of the NCS Albany chapter, Bob shares the profound impact NCS has had in his life: his first NCS experience was a Retreat at Mohonk Mountain House, an NCS Retreat at Hershey opened the door to understanding his shame, and an NCS Retreat at the Homestead helped his family heal from the loss of his first wife.

This is an NCS brudder truly taking off his mask in the hope that revealing his pain may help others begin to face and heal from theirs.

Navigating the Narrow Gate (Tom Cole – 4/29/22 – NCS New Canaan)

April 29, 2022 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

With amazing wisdom and humility gained on life’s journey, Tom Cole shares the ups and downs that have allowed God to shape him, as well as the role the New Canaan Society and the friendships he has found in NCS brudders have played in his story. He reveals with tremendous vulnerability how his greatest personal growth came through the hardest moments of life.

From a painful and public divorce to two heart attacks, Tom talks about the importance of his faith in Jesus to his ability to weather difficult storms. He explains how the first heart attack ultimately led to his book “The Narrow Gate: Fatherly Advice for Navigating the Pathway to Your Best Life“. Lying on a hospital gurney not knowing if he was going home to Jesus, Tom shares that the “dominant” thought was he had not poured enough wisdom into his kids.

Tom takes us through a few of the chapters, starting with what he has learned about the source of real joy and happiness–deep relationship with God and others. He explains why money and achievement do not bring happiness.

He also explains the importance of sharing our stories–not only so that others can walk with us through them, but so that we can make a connection with those who need us to walk with them through their stories.

He ties it all back to the core of NCS–growing deeper in friendship with Jesus and friendship with others by “showing up”–“showing up” not for what you can get but because you might be able to impact the life of another man. Tom transparently tells stories of how he has “shown up” for others and how others have “shown up” and walked with him through life’s valleys.

Newly retired from a long and successful career in investment banking, Tom describes navigating the transition to a new season of life. He also explains the importance of being present to the moment, living one day at a time, even as we reflect on the past and plan for the future.

This is God-inspired wisdom for leading a life walking in the Way of Jesus–wisdom from a father to his children, from a brother to his brothers, and from a friend to his friends.

If any man truly wants to be an NCS brudder, he needs to listen to this God-inspired wisdom on what we mean by “showing up”.

Early in his talk, Tom refers to “a message from our sponsor”. He showed a video produced by Chick-fil-A as an employee training tool. You can watch it below.

Think About Noble Things (Kevin Mackay – 10/8/21 – NCS New Canaan)

October 8, 2021 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

Kevin Mackay served as a Corporal in the U.S. Marine Corps and for 17 years as a Stamford Police officer. With tremendous humility and vulnerability, he shares about the “moral injury” he experienced and the miraculous healing that came through his new-found faith in Jesus.

Kevin explains that the most debilitating “moral injury” came when he was a computer forensic expert with the Stamford Police investigating cases of child pornography. With amazing transparency, he reveals how having to examine unspeakable images and incomprehensible search terms drove him to a mental break. Although he began self-medicating, Kevin shares how he turned to the Stamford Police Chaplain for support. Kevin explains that he was an atheist not interested in hearing about God or Jesus, but he believed he could trust the Chaplain (NCS brudder John Revell of Life Line Chaplaincy) to listen confidentially.

Mackay explains how Revell shared with him Philippians 4, particularly verse 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” He describes how shifting his mind to the “noble” took his focus off the images of evil he had experienced. It also led Kevin to begin exploring the idea of God in various faiths. Ultimately, applying his analytical mind to Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel, Mackay knew that what was missing from his life was Jesus Christ.

Although a reluctant convert just like C.S. Lewis, Kevin goes on to share how his new-found faith has both healed him and given him a new perspective on life. It has transformed him from someone always trying to control his circumstances to someone able to look through circumstances and see the hand of a loving God with a wonderful plan. He tells how anxiety and anxiety drugs have been replaced by the healing peace promised in Philippians.

Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Living Life in the Midst of Storms (P. D. – 9/24/21 – NCS New Canaan)

September 24, 2021 by NCS New Canaan 1 Comment

With remarkable transparency and humility and unbelievable gratitude and faith, NCS brudder P. D. shares the extraordinary “storms” that have descended on his journey and the more extraordinary ways in which he has persevered and even given thanks, maintaining his ever-present smile.

He talks openly about losing his father in a tragic accident, losing a child to cancer, charitably taking in three children from one of the poorest countries in Europe, losing all his savings in a bad investment and having to sell his home, losing his marriage (and practically all his material possessions) in a divorce, going through several career transitions that required “starting over”, and battling and beating cancer twice.

Although even a few of his “storms” could lead some people to abandon hope and their faith in God, he explains how he has weathered them and not allowed them to define his life, shake his faith or rob his hope.

Faith, family and friends have been his rocks. He talks about the three sons he adores, his first NCS retreat and the impact of having NCS brothers who just “show up”.
He shares that no matter how bad things got, he reminded himself that there are people who have it worse and gave thanks for all he had been given.
He explains how he stopped asking “Why?” and focused on how he could use his remaining days, however many there are, to live fully–serving others to the glory of God.

His story is not a story of “storms”–it is a story of the power of faith, family, friendship and gratitude to bring resilience, hope and purpose.

The Bible says God does not allow us to face storms without adequately equipping us. His inspiring resilience and courageous testimony may be part of his calling–helping prepare us for storms we are in or those just down the road. God made him to be a resilient warrior–for the benefit of others who take the time to listen.

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