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Navigating the Narrow Gate (Tom Cole – 4/29/22 – NCS New Canaan)

April 29, 2022 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment


With amazing wisdom and humility gained on life’s journey, Tom Cole shares the ups and downs that have allowed God to shape him, as well as the role the New Canaan Society and the friendships he has found in NCS brudders have played in his story. He reveals with tremendous vulnerability how his greatest personal growth came through the hardest moments of life.

From a painful and public divorce to two heart attacks, Tom talks about the importance of his faith in Jesus to his ability to weather difficult storms. He explains how the first heart attack ultimately led to his book “The Narrow Gate: Fatherly Advice for Navigating the Pathway to Your Best Life“. Lying on a hospital gurney not knowing if he was going home to Jesus, Tom shares that the “dominant” thought was he had not poured enough wisdom into his kids.

Tom takes us through a few of the chapters, starting with what he has learned about the source of real joy and happiness–deep relationship with God and others. He explains why money and achievement do not bring happiness.

He also explains the importance of sharing our stories–not only so that others can walk with us through them, but so that we can make a connection with those who need us to walk with them through their stories.

He ties it all back to the core of NCS–growing deeper in friendship with Jesus and friendship with others by “showing up”–“showing up” not for what you can get but because you might be able to impact the life of another man. Tom transparently tells stories of how he has “shown up” for others and how others have “shown up” and walked with him through life’s valleys.

Newly retired from a long and successful career in investment banking, Tom describes navigating the transition to a new season of life. He also explains the importance of being present to the moment, living one day at a time, even as we reflect on the past and plan for the future.

This is God-inspired wisdom for leading a life walking in the Way of Jesus–wisdom from a father to his children, from a brother to his brothers, and from a friend to his friends.

If any man truly wants to be an NCS brudder, he needs to listen to this God-inspired wisdom on what we mean by “showing up”.​

Early in his talk, Tom refers to “a message from our sponsor”. He showed a video produced by Chick-fil-A as an employee training tool. You can watch it below.

Filed Under: Audio & Video, Uncategorized, Video Tagged With: Audio & Video, Career and Financial Disappointments and Transitions, Chapter Friday, Christianity-Theology, Crisis and Adversity, Dealing with Emotions, Divorce, Energy Groups, Faith, Father-Son, Forgiveness, Friendship, Going from Survival-Success to Significance, Great Commandments - Love God - Love Neighbor, Healing, Health Challenges and Losses, Leadership, Marriage, Mentoring and Discipleship, Nature of God, NCS New Canaan, Raising Children, Relationships, Serving Others, Speak Truth, Transparency and Authenticity

Let Us Play the Man (Ken Fish – 12/17/21 – NCS New Canaan)

December 17, 2021 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

Ken Fish is not known for mincing words or dumbing down Biblical truth to make it more palatable. He laments that fatherhood is in crisis in our world, and looking to the words of Joab in 2 Samuel 10:12 KJV (“Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people, and for the cities of our God“), he issues an urgent “call to action” for men to “play the man”–or “man-up”–as fathers. We must do it for the sake of our families, our cities and our nation.

Ken shares that, as he travels the world, the #1 prayer request from women in every nation and every country is for God to bring “a Godly man who will lead my household”. He explains ways in which many men are failing to fill the Biblical role of fathers as “priests” of their family and lays out a straightforward Scriptural path to turn things around and “raise a generation of the righteous”:

  • Be of Good Courage.
  • Play the Man.
  • Give Yourself To Others

Ken asserts that the best way for Satan to destroy a country is to destroy families, and the best way to destroy families is to destroy fathers. He also explains why the restoration of righteous fathers is a necessary condition to revival.

Emphasizing that the key to this simple three-point formula is the execution, Fish walks through various Biblical passages that provide guidance on fatherhood and manhood.

You may support Ken’s ministry at this link: https://orbisministries.org/support-orbis/

Filed Under: Audio & Video, Video Tagged With: Audio & Video, Chapter Friday, Christianity-Theology, Cultural Change and Engagement, Divorce, Faith, Father-Son, Great Commandments - Love God - Love Neighbor, Leadership, Live Pure, Marriage, Mentoring and Discipleship, Nature of God, NCS New Canaan, Prayer, Raising Children, Relationships, Right Wrong, Serving Others, Sexual Habits and Addictions, Shame-Guilt, Speak Truth, Spiritual Warfare

Following Jesus (One Less Sin at a Time) (David Montoya – 10/22/21 – NCS New Canaan)

November 2, 2021 by NCS New Canaan 1 Comment

With unbelievable honesty and humility, David Montoya shares a life and faith journey that brings to life the promise in Ezekiel 36:26: “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”  

David vulnerably shares difficult and pivotal moments of his early years, including the time his fiancé died in his arms on the way to the hospital–events that he says changed the course of his life. At that time, a therapist told David he had the greatest fear of death the therapist had ever seen.

With tremendous transparency, Montoya tells about his later years as a lawyer and a venture capitalist, describing himself as “evil”–having no regard to the carnage left behind on the road to “winning”. He explains how that heart of stone began to transform when a friend invited him to a New Canaan Society event in San Francisco.

While David’s heart transformation has been ongoing since he first began attending NCS in 2015, David reveals a recent and extraordinary near-death experience that had a profound impact on his fear of death–he says it is gone.

Filed Under: Audio & Video, Video Tagged With: Anger, Audio & Video, Chapter Friday, Crisis and Adversity, Divorce, Faith, Fear and Worry, Healing, Nature of God, NCS New Canaan, New to Christianity, Prayer, Relationships, Speak Truth, Transparency and Authenticity

Living Life in the Midst of Storms (P. D. – 9/24/21 – NCS New Canaan)

September 24, 2021 by NCS New Canaan 1 Comment

With remarkable transparency and humility and unbelievable gratitude and faith, NCS brudder P. D. shares the extraordinary “storms” that have descended on his journey and the more extraordinary ways in which he has persevered and even given thanks, maintaining his ever-present smile.

He talks openly about losing his father in a tragic accident, losing a child to cancer, charitably taking in three children from one of the poorest countries in Europe, losing all his savings in a bad investment and having to sell his home, losing his marriage (and practically all his material possessions) in a divorce, going through several career transitions that required “starting over”, and battling and beating cancer twice.

Although even a few of his “storms” could lead some people to abandon hope and their faith in God, he explains how he has weathered them and not allowed them to define his life, shake his faith or rob his hope.

  • Faith, family and friends have been his rocks. He talks about the three sons he adores, his first NCS retreat and the impact of having NCS brothers who just “show up”.
  • He shares that no matter how bad things got, he reminded himself that there are people who have it worse and gave thanks for all he had been given.
  • He explains how he stopped asking “Why?” and focused on how he could use his remaining days, however many there are, to live fully–serving others to the glory of God.

His story is not a story of “storms”–it is a story of the power of faith, family, friendship and gratitude to bring resilience, hope and purpose.

The Bible says God does not allow us to face storms without adequately equipping us.  His inspiring resilience and courageous testimony may be part of his calling–helping prepare us for storms we are in or those just down the road.  God made him to be a resilient warrior–for the benefit of others who take the time to listen.

Filed Under: Audio & Video, Uncategorized, Video Tagged With: Audio & Video, Calling and Purpose, Career and Financial Disappointments and Transitions, Chapter Friday, Crisis and Adversity, Dealing with Emotions, Divorce, Energy Groups, Faith, Father-Son, Fear and Worry, Friendship, Gratitude, Healing, Health Challenges and Losses, Nature of God, NCS New Canaan, Prayer, Relationships, Speak Truth, Transparency and Authenticity

The Journey from Loss to Hope to Happiness (Mark Negley – 6/4/21 – NCS New Canaan)

June 4, 2021 by NCS New Canaan Leave a Comment

Mark Negley has experienced loss experiences and struggles that would make most people say “dear God, please don’t let me go through that.” Mark shares with tremendous vulnerability about the challenges that have crossed, and even shaped, his journey: a son with special needs; a cancer diagnosis (followed by a miraculous healing); an accident that nearly killed his wife; and fallout from the accident which led his wife into a severe depression that took her life.

Mark explains how the loss of his wife to depression and suicide ignited a passion for raising awareness about depression and helping others through difficult life experiences. He describes how he has spent the last four years studying, reading and learning about loss and grief, interviewing numerous people about their own loss and grief experiences, and facilitating grief support groups. His life experiences and work led to revelations about the nature of grief, about how we deal with grief, and about the healing and hopeful words of Scripture regarding God’s promises in difficult times. His efforts have culminated in a new book, Survive-Alive-Thrive: Navigating the Journey from Loss to Hope to Happiness, that redefines the loss experience and provides a new model for understanding grief recovery for the millions of Americans who suffer loss each year. Mark notes that in a WebMD survey 71% of Americans self-reported as having directly suffered a “loss event” within the last few years. It has also led to a new non-profit he started called Survive-Alive-Thrive with a vision to equip churches and other organizations to help people through the grief process.

Mark reveals why the often-quoted “5 Stages of Grief” were really designed for those diagnosed with a terminal illness and are not particularly helpful for other loss experiences (e.g., loss of a loved one, loss of a marriage, loss of a business, loss of a job). He presents the experiential “3 Stages of Grief” that have come from his discussions with others who have suffered loss as well as his own experiences–Survive, Alive, Thrive, always tying the process and hope to the hope we find in God’s word, in God’s grace and in Jesus. Mark also explores the nature of “joy” and how joy rooted in God sustains, while joy rooted in worldly measures will always disappoint–echoes of the NCS theme song “Knowing You” (see the link below to listen).

He even presents a a very “NCS-like” path to healing–sharing with others, sharing with God, not doing it alone, and recognizing that the “sufferer” can become the “comforter”–all of which are at the foundation of the New Canaan Society and NCS Energy Groups–brothers “showing up” authentically, having each other’s back, and together pursuing deeper friendship with Jesus and with each other.

Filed Under: Audio & Video, Uncategorized, Video Tagged With: Audio & Video, Calling and Purpose, Career and Financial Disappointments and Transitions, Chapter Friday, Christianity-Theology, Crisis and Adversity, Dealing with Emotions, Divorce, Energy Groups, Faith, Fear and Worry, Friendship, Gratitude, Healing, Health Challenges and Losses, Isolation-Loneliness-Depression, Nature of God, NCS New Canaan, Prayer, Relationships, Transparency and Authenticity

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