NCS New Canaan

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Shame on Me (and How To Get Free) (Hal Rosser – 7/10/20 – NCS CT Chapters)

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With great courage, humility and transparency, Harold (“Hal”) Rosser shares the amazing journey of his life, including the fears, struggles, failures and challenges, as well as the joys, victories, miracles and lessons learned.

Hal takes us along the road that brought a kid with a 1.86 GPA in college who drank heavily to being a senior credit officer at one of the most respected financial institutions in the world and then to being the co-founder of a successful private equity firm and finally to founding his own private equity firm. He vulnerably tells about his fears and how he was always trying to prove he was good enough. Hal also talks about how he came to know Jesus and the profound impact it has had on his life, both personally and professionally, including an immediate healing through prayer that has led to 25 years without alcohol.

Looking back on his life, Hal ends by sharing and explaining eight lessons learned along the way:

  • Keep asking “Am I actually fully committed to Jesus?”
  • Living for yourself leads to an empty life.
  • Being in a community with other followers of Jesus is essential and life-fulfilling.
  • Many people are hurting and living superficial lives because they lack purpose and hope.
  • We are all created uniquely and need each other.
  • We need to release the expectations we have for others (particularly our closest loved ones) and learn to delight in them as God created them to be.
  • Looking back at even our most difficult times, Jesus is with us every step of the way.
  • Shame is a barrier to loving others and feeling loved, but we can get free of Shame by experiencing the unconditional love of Jesus.

This is a story of healing for anyone who has ever felt the shame of failures or being “not enough” or who is struggling with an addiction. It is a story of hope for anyone who wonders if Jesus is real or if God really has a purpose for their life. But mostly, it is a story of God’s unceasing love for and delight in one of his children–a love and delight he feels for each of us–and the miraculous power of accepting the open invitation to meet Jesus.

Whose Side Are You On?: A “Third Way” To Reconciliation (Roland Warren – 6/26/20 – NCS New Canaan & NCS Bergen County)

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With tremendous honesty, passion and wisdom, Roland Warren presents a “third way” approach to racial reconciliation and healing. Warren shares vulnerably about his first experience of racism and the impact it has had on his life. He also explains how God began to reveal insights about the current cultural climate by pointing him back to lessons learned in his early days at Goldman Sachs.

Starting with Joshua 5:13-14 (see text below) and then looking at the model of Jesus, Warren urges us to put aside the “tribal” sides that divide us over issues and concepts like “systemic racism”, “white privilege” and “black lives matter vs. all lives matter” and consider what it would look like to be “on God’s side” in addressing issues of racism and racial division. Warren reminds us that we are in a spiritual battle, and that the “two sides” are really the divisive side of Satan and the reconciling side of God–that is the real choice we have to make.

Warren shows that God’s way, as modeled by Jesus, is to pursue reconciliation by changing individual hearts–that systemic racial problems will only heal when people’s hearts have been changed to embrace both justice and mercy–whites and blacks committed to fighting injustice and forgiving. Warren boldly asserts that reconciliation will never happen between a guilty person and an angry person, which is why many current narratives and efforts just bring greater division.

During his 22 minute talk and an extended 45 minutes of Q&A, Roland addresses topics such as:

  • Why messages of reconciliation are not being heard because the media needs “volatility” for news.
  • How systemic injustice toward blacks today can be compared to systemic injustice toward Jews at the time of Jesus, and how Jesus addressed the systemic by changing individual hearts.
  • The lessons we can learn from how Jesus perceived and treated victims and victimizers.
  • Drawing on his experience as President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, the need to help build strong black families.
  • Drawing on his experience as current CEO of Care-Net, the tragic reasoning that he believes leads to a disproportionate number of black abortions.
  • That truly “caring” about black lives means caring comprehensively, from “womb to tomb”.
  • How whites and blacks can (and must) move toward reconciliation by getting past positions of anger and guilt.
  • The importance of personal responsibility and forgiveness in pursuing reconciliation.
  • Practical ways whites can come alongside blacks in the pursuit of reconciliation without supporting organizations they believe have a different agenda.
  • How “God’s side” of reconciliation can be expressed in secular terms as the universal desire for “peace”.

Warren’s message and perspective is one most people have probably not heard, but it is one that needs to be heard.

Here is a link to the 2016 article Warren mentions in his talk. https://assets.newcanaansociety.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/21/2020/06/26120849/washingtontimes.com-Black-Lives-Matters-real-agenda.pdf

Joshua 5:13-14 13 When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” 14 And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped[a] and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?”

Don’t Be Afraid of the Crazy Things God Asks (Brian Jones – 2/7/20 – NCS New Canaan)

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Brian Jones shares, with great vulnerability, the incredible life journey he and his family have been on by listening to God’s stirring and then having the courage to take a leap of faith and say “YES”. He tells how this journey has taken him: from thinking he would go to seminary and pursue being a pastor to a highly successful career in finance; from a finance career on Wall Street to a stint as the executive director of a church in Dallas; and from having a few children to having five and then adopting a sixth–and then moving back to a Manhattan apartment (with five children still home).

Jones also shares some of the lessons he has learned along the journey, including about marriage, raising children and being a good steward of God’s gifts. He urges us, at those times when you “can’t say no” but you “could say no” to God’s stirring, to be bold and willing to take major risks. Jones explains that, in his experience, it is not about God asking for a 20-year or 10-year or 5-year plan–it is about following Him and being faithful in the next “yes”.

Live to Forgive Through Empathy (Jason Romano – 11/22/19 – NCS New Canaan)

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With tremendous transparency and authenticity, Jason Romano shares the painful story of estrangement from his father. He takes us on a journey from childhood to the depths of hurt, resentment, unforgiveness and bondage, and then explains how that journey finally took a God-orchestrated turn toward forgiveness, freedom and healing. Romano also reflects on the rampant unforgiveness in our society and the damage it is doing.

In recounting the journey, Romano admits how difficult it is to truly forgive as Jesus forgives us. He vulnerably shares how for many years he responded to hurt by hurting back from a place of bitterness and anger. He finally came to understand that forgiveness is not about the other person–it is about you. But most importantly, he came to understand that the key to forgiveness is empathy–what Romano now calls “the antidote to life”. Romano shares that being able to finally have empathy for, and forgive, his father, started him on a life of forgiveness.

A Call to Virtuous Masculinity (Fr. Louis Leonelli – 11/8/19 – NCS New Canaan)

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Father Louis Leonelli starts by sharing a bit of his life story, including his radical and miraculous conversion from a successful Wall Street businessman pursuing wealth, woman and a music career to a humble Franciscan friar serving the homeless in the South Bronx.

Father Louis then examines “masculinity”–real “toxic” masculinity, the normal masculinity that our politically correct culture has deceptively labeled “toxic”, and finally, the “virtuous” masculinity we are called to pursue as followers of Jesus. In exploring virtuous masculinity, he explains and stresses the virtues of temperance, sacrifice and humility. Father Louis ends by sharing what he believes to be the three most important priorities in the pursuit of virtuous masculinity: (1) develop and nurture a relationship with God, (2) develop and nurture relationships with the small circle of people whom we love and who love us and (3) in whatever our stations or callings in life, strive to be the very best version of ourself we can be, all to the glory of God.

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