NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Living Life in the Midst of Storms (P. D. – 9/24/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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With remarkable transparency and humility and unbelievable gratitude and faith, NCS brudder P. D. shares the extraordinary “storms” that have descended on his journey and the more extraordinary ways in which he has persevered and even given thanks, maintaining his ever-present smile.

He talks openly about losing his father in a tragic accident, losing a child to cancer, charitably taking in three children from one of the poorest countries in Europe, losing all his savings in a bad investment and having to sell his home, losing his marriage (and practically all his material possessions) in a divorce, going through several career transitions that required “starting over”, and battling and beating cancer twice.

Although even a few of his “storms” could lead some people to abandon hope and their faith in God, he explains how he has weathered them and not allowed them to define his life, shake his faith or rob his hope.

  • Faith, family and friends have been his rocks. He talks about the three sons he adores, his first NCS retreat and the impact of having NCS brothers who just “show up”.
  • He shares that no matter how bad things got, he reminded himself that there are people who have it worse and gave thanks for all he had been given.
  • He explains how he stopped asking “Why?” and focused on how he could use his remaining days, however many there are, to live fully–serving others to the glory of God.

His story is not a story of “storms”–it is a story of the power of faith, family, friendship and gratitude to bring resilience, hope and purpose.

The Bible says God does not allow us to face storms without adequately equipping us.  His inspiring resilience and courageous testimony may be part of his calling–helping prepare us for storms we are in or those just down the road.  God made him to be a resilient warrior–for the benefit of others who take the time to listen.

Loving the Man To Your Left and Right (Charles Paksi – 2/19/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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Charles Paksi has served in the U.S. military for 29 years, and he shares, with amazing transparency and humility, the story of his life and the men who God used to mould him into the courageous man of faith, grateful son, devoted husband, loving father and faithful friend he is today.

Although Charles does not like talking about himself, his stories also reveal how God has used him to shape other men. From those on his “left” who influenced him, to those on his “right” who he is influencing, we see how God uses the power of relationship to raise up, train and protect his children.

Paksi looks back and recognizes how God blessed him and prepared him for his future as a warrior, a leader, a husband, a father and a friend through the people he encountered and the lessons they taught him. From a father who instilled in him a deep appreciation for faith, freedom and the privilege of being an American, to the uncle who inspired him at age 7 to become a Marine, to the bully who showed him the difference between offense and defense, to the man who exhibited the power of a man on foot, to the coach and small town that helped him understand the importance of culture, to the teammate who instilled the need to be prepared at all times, to the seasoned Marines who taught him through their actions the importance of love for the man on your left and right. He knows there were no coincidences.

Charles vulnerably explains the humbling experience of bootcamp and learning that you must rely on the Marine to your left and your right. He also reflects on the first time, at the tender age of 19, he witnessed a fellow Marine get killed and then observed the courageous response of his leader. And he shares the life-changing “born again” experience when he believed he was likely to die.

Through an extensive Q&A session following his talk, Charles gives a glimpse into why his life may hold many titles and many jobs, but he is, and always will be, a United States Marine.

The Incomparable Value of Joy (Dr. Jorge Valdes – 12/4/20 – NCS New Canaan)

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With great transparency, Dr. Jorge Valdes shares the incredible journey that took him: (1) from being the son of a wealthy family in Cuba, (2) to experiencing poverty in the United States and concluding God was not real, (3) to pursuing an education to become a lawyer, (4) to shifting his career path and becoming the #1 cocaine trafficker in the United States, (5) to being tortured for 29 days by General Noriega’s soldiers in Panama, (6) to surrendering his life to Jesus because of a karate instructor who concluded Valdes was the devil incarnate, (7) because of his new-found faith, to choosing to admit his past crimes, which led to being sentenced to seven life sentences and losing all his wealth, (8) to having his mind transformed in prison through reading the Bible, (9) to seeing in prison the tragic division among “Christians” and coming to understand the importance of behavior over words in sharing our faith, (10) to being released and telling his story in the book “Coming Clean”, (11) to regaining wealth through a legitimate business and then walking away from it to invest into the hearts of his children. In telling his story, Valdes stresses that the life of drugs, money and sex is not “his story”–it is just part of his story.

One of the most poignant chapters in Jorge’s remarkable story is the impact of the karate instructor who knew Jesus. Valdes explains that over the course of three years with the instructor, he came to desire to know more about Jesus. Jorge described that it was not because of anything the instructor said–it was because of something he exhibited that Valdes didn’t have with all his money, mansions, planes, bodyguards and women–a joy he thought couldn’t be real.

With tremendous passion, Valdes urges listeners to be authenticate in their Christian walk by investing in people through loving them, regardless of their backgrounds, political views, beliefs. He shares his belief that the world needs more safe places, like NCS, where people can be transparent about their struggles and failings without fear of judgment–places where they can “come clean”, be liberated through the saving grace of Jesus and go on to make a difference in the world by sharing His love.

It is clear that the current chapter of Jorge’s story is one of trying authentically to live his life as a follower of Jesus–sharing God’s story in his life and being a witness through his actions more than his words by loving people, investing in their lives and living without fear in the knowledge that Jesus has already won.

While the allure of joy may be one of the most impactful aspects of Jorge’s talk, one of his comments may be the most thought-provoking–that perhaps Christians should spend less time worrying about “putting Christ back in Christmas” and more time worrying about “putting Christ back in Christians”.

Becoming Free To Heal the World (J. Kevin Butcher – 10/16/20 – NCS New England Chapters)

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[The weekend of Oct 16-18, 2020 was meant to be the 2020 NCS New England Retreat, and J. Kevin Butcher was scheduled to be our Spiritual Guide. Our theme was to be Embrace an “F-Word”: Freedom. The COVID pandemic changed all that, but Kevin graciously and generously agreed to speak to a joint meeting of the NCS New England Chapters on what would have been the first day of the 2020 Retreat (the Retreat is rescheduled for November 5-7, 2021 with Kevin).]

Kevin Butcher is like us because he is an NCS brother (a member of NCS Grosse Pointe). He is like us because he is a man. He is like us because he has struggled with the difference between “knowing Jesus” and “knowing ABOUT Jesus” (and we all know that the lyrics of the NCS theme song “Knowing You” by Graham Kendrick says it is about “knowing Jesus”). He is like us because he spent years filling the emptiness in his heart with all the wrong stuff (none of which works). Kevin shares with tremendous NCS vulnerability his “performance” life and where it led him.

But Kevin Butcher is unlike many of us because he finally “got it”. As he says, our lives begin when we realize God loves us. Butcher explains that we can’t live out the commandment in John 13:34 to love others as Jesus loves us if we have not realized Jesus’s love–not “knowing” in our head He loves us but “experiencing” His love. Kevin emphasizes through stories from his own experience how much the world is broken and hurting, how much people are looking for the healing love of Jesus, even if they don’t know it, and how healing the love of Jesus can be when poured out by us.

Butcher runs through a thought-provoking and heart-wrenching list of the types of things men use to fill the emptiness. He shares that these are “signs” and not things to “fix”–they are “signs” that we are still living in bondage, which means we may be “functional” but we are not “free”.

As we begin to get lost in the pain of seeing ourselves on (or all over) that list, Kevin then provides a path to freedom–the freedom necessary to heal a broken and hurting world by truly loving others as Jesus loves us. That path is focused on three key relationships:

  • Our relationship with ourself (hint: we have to stop lying to ourselves about ourselves)
  • Our relationship with God (hint: we have to see God is an Abba father who loves us)
  • Our relationship with others (hint: we need to move toward one another in the body of Christ to bring and receive healing through love).

Kevin Butcher is coming out with a new book to be released April 6, 2021 called “Free”. Click HERE to visit Kevin’s page at Tyndale House Publishers.

There is another song by Graham Kendrick (who wrote the NCS theme “Knowing You”) that perfectly captures John 13:34–it is called “Love Each Other”. Together, these two songs are a wonderful accompaniment to Kevin’s message. Here are the official lyric videos.

Shame on Me (and How To Get Free) (Hal Rosser – 7/10/20 – NCS CT Chapters)

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With great courage, humility and transparency, Harold (“Hal”) Rosser shares the amazing journey of his life, including the fears, struggles, failures and challenges, as well as the joys, victories, miracles and lessons learned.

Hal takes us along the road that brought a kid with a 1.86 GPA in college who drank heavily to being a senior credit officer at one of the most respected financial institutions in the world and then to being the co-founder of a successful private equity firm and finally to founding his own private equity firm. He vulnerably tells about his fears and how he was always trying to prove he was good enough. Hal also talks about how he came to know Jesus and the profound impact it has had on his life, both personally and professionally, including an immediate healing through prayer that has led to 25 years without alcohol.

Looking back on his life, Hal ends by sharing and explaining eight lessons learned along the way:

  • Keep asking “Am I actually fully committed to Jesus?”
  • Living for yourself leads to an empty life.
  • Being in a community with other followers of Jesus is essential and life-fulfilling.
  • Many people are hurting and living superficial lives because they lack purpose and hope.
  • We are all created uniquely and need each other.
  • We need to release the expectations we have for others (particularly our closest loved ones) and learn to delight in them as God created them to be.
  • Looking back at even our most difficult times, Jesus is with us every step of the way.
  • Shame is a barrier to loving others and feeling loved, but we can get free of Shame by experiencing the unconditional love of Jesus.

This is a story of healing for anyone who has ever felt the shame of failures or being “not enough” or who is struggling with an addiction. It is a story of hope for anyone who wonders if Jesus is real or if God really has a purpose for their life. But mostly, it is a story of God’s unceasing love for and delight in one of his children–a love and delight he feels for each of us–and the miraculous power of accepting the open invitation to meet Jesus.

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