NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Deal With It! (Brian Lahoue – 3/12/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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In his talk, Brian Lahoue shares key insights from his book “Deal With It!: How to Stop Running from People, Problems, and Pressure”. In an extended Q&A, he opens up with tremendous vulnerability about the personal struggles and challenges that led to a dramatic encounter with God and, ultimately, writing a book to help others confront and “deal with” the past experiences that may be sabotaging their relationships and lives.

Lahoue describes the link between psychological concepts such as “attribution error” and Biblical principles and demonstrates why “confrontation” can be a tool for expressing love toward those in our life. In fact, he goes so far as to assert that confrontation is a “moral imperative” for followers of Jesus.

Brian explains concepts such as:

  • Our problems often come not from the reality of our past but from our perception of that reality. Through confrontation, we can understand a different way to view past events–which can change how we are impacted by them–which, in turn, can heal the problematic ways in which we engage life, perceive reality and relate to other people.
  • Even when we do not have the power to change our reality, we have the power to change how we react to our reality.
  • What it means to be a “peacemaker”.
  • How the Biblical commands to pray for our enemies and avoid judgment can free our heart to treat people with greater love.
  • Our greatest agency is to choose who we serve–Jesus or the worldly system over which Satan is the prince–which requires understanding the spiritual dimension of the negative messages that bombard us constantly in an effort to trigger destructive attitudes that can lead to destructive behaviors.
  • The gift of the Holy Spirit, who can help us recognize Satan’s words and choose the way of Jesus.
  • Why we can try to outrun people but we can’t outrun our problems (and why those who “run away” through divorce are at risk of divorcing again).
  • The power of compassion, humility (recognizing our own weakness) and gratitude (knowing we have been forgiven) to heal relationships and help us “renew our minds”.

Brian also offers practical suggestions on how to remain grounded in healthy perceptions of our reality and relationships, consistent with following Jesus.

You can purchase a copy of Brian’s book at this link.

Loving the Man To Your Left and Right (Charles Paksi – 2/19/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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Charles Paksi has served in the U.S. military for 29 years, and he shares, with amazing transparency and humility, the story of his life and the men who God used to mould him into the courageous man of faith, grateful son, devoted husband, loving father and faithful friend he is today.

Although Charles does not like talking about himself, his stories also reveal how God has used him to shape other men. From those on his “left” who influenced him, to those on his “right” who he is influencing, we see how God uses the power of relationship to raise up, train and protect his children.

Paksi looks back and recognizes how God blessed him and prepared him for his future as a warrior, a leader, a husband, a father and a friend through the people he encountered and the lessons they taught him. From a father who instilled in him a deep appreciation for faith, freedom and the privilege of being an American, to the uncle who inspired him at age 7 to become a Marine, to the bully who showed him the difference between offense and defense, to the man who exhibited the power of a man on foot, to the coach and small town that helped him understand the importance of culture, to the teammate who instilled the need to be prepared at all times, to the seasoned Marines who taught him through their actions the importance of love for the man on your left and right. He knows there were no coincidences.

Charles vulnerably explains the humbling experience of bootcamp and learning that you must rely on the Marine to your left and your right. He also reflects on the first time, at the tender age of 19, he witnessed a fellow Marine get killed and then observed the courageous response of his leader. And he shares the life-changing “born again” experience when he believed he was likely to die.

Through an extensive Q&A session following his talk, Charles gives a glimpse into why his life may hold many titles and many jobs, but he is, and always will be, a United States Marine.

Shame on Me (and How To Get Free) (Hal Rosser – 7/10/20 – NCS CT Chapters)

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With great courage, humility and transparency, Harold (“Hal”) Rosser shares the amazing journey of his life, including the fears, struggles, failures and challenges, as well as the joys, victories, miracles and lessons learned.

Hal takes us along the road that brought a kid with a 1.86 GPA in college who drank heavily to being a senior credit officer at one of the most respected financial institutions in the world and then to being the co-founder of a successful private equity firm and finally to founding his own private equity firm. He vulnerably tells about his fears and how he was always trying to prove he was good enough. Hal also talks about how he came to know Jesus and the profound impact it has had on his life, both personally and professionally, including an immediate healing through prayer that has led to 25 years without alcohol.

Looking back on his life, Hal ends by sharing and explaining eight lessons learned along the way:

  • Keep asking “Am I actually fully committed to Jesus?”
  • Living for yourself leads to an empty life.
  • Being in a community with other followers of Jesus is essential and life-fulfilling.
  • Many people are hurting and living superficial lives because they lack purpose and hope.
  • We are all created uniquely and need each other.
  • We need to release the expectations we have for others (particularly our closest loved ones) and learn to delight in them as God created them to be.
  • Looking back at even our most difficult times, Jesus is with us every step of the way.
  • Shame is a barrier to loving others and feeling loved, but we can get free of Shame by experiencing the unconditional love of Jesus.

This is a story of healing for anyone who has ever felt the shame of failures or being “not enough” or who is struggling with an addiction. It is a story of hope for anyone who wonders if Jesus is real or if God really has a purpose for their life. But mostly, it is a story of God’s unceasing love for and delight in one of his children–a love and delight he feels for each of us–and the miraculous power of accepting the open invitation to meet Jesus.

Setting a New Default (Nigel Mumford – 5/15/20 – NCS New Canaan/Manchester/Virginia Beach)

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In the midst of the “Covid crisis”, Rev. Nigel Mumford explores where we go when we are stressed–how we respond when our “buttons” are pushed or our “triggers” are triggered–and how we can be healed from those buttons and triggers. By looking to Matthew 6:33 (“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”), Nigel helps us understand how to set a “new default” through God’s healing of our past. He vulnerably shares from his own life traumas, including those suffered as a British Royal Marine Commando, as well as his near-death experience with Swine Flu when he was in a coma for three weeks and in the ICU for three months.

Through examples from his own life as well as experiences from his global healing ministry, Nigel unpacks two sayings “Hurt people hurt people, but healed hurt people heal people” and “Don’t let your past ruin your present or your future.”

In an extensive Q&A session at the end, Nigel addresses questions about topics such as: healing from the trauma of Covid-19; sharing your deepest fears and hurts; strengthening marriages; going through a near-death experience; fearing death; the difference between forgiving, reconciling and healing; and quarantining alone.

Donations to Nigel’s ministry may be made at www.byhiswoundsministry.org

Nigel has just published a new book on healing titled “This Is Where Your Healing Begins”. Click this link to purchase a copy: https://amzn.to/2LvP5ML

“Didn’t I” Put the “It” In Your Hand? (Dr. David Young – 5/1/20 – NCS New Canaan/NoVa/Washington DC)

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Dr. David Young, founder of Oxford Analytica and formerly a member of the National Security Council staff (and Special Assistant to Dr. Henry Kissinger) during the Nixon administration, shares a lifetime of wisdom from his faith journey, encapsulated in two phrases–“Didn’t I” and “It”. It is about remembering what God has done for us and recognizing the gifts and tools He has put in our hands to steward and put to work.

As one participant noted during his talk, “This is a privileged sitting with a sage.” Another commented, “This is about as good as its been since I started coming to NCS in 2002.” The talk itself is just under 20 minutes, but it is followed by 50 minutes of rich and deep Q&A in which David talks about topics such as the spiritual dimension of politics and power, the difficult journey of building Oxford Analytica and the people who have most impacted his life.

This talk was given to a joint meeting of NCS New Canaan, NCS NoVa and NCS Washington DC on May 1, 2020.

During his talk, David referenced various resources. Here are relevant links:

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