NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Navigating the Narrow Gate (Tom Cole – 4/29/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With amazing wisdom and humility gained on life’s journey, Tom Cole shares the ups and downs that have allowed God to shape him, as well as the role the New Canaan Society and the friendships he has found in NCS brudders have played in his story. He reveals with tremendous vulnerability how his greatest personal growth came through the hardest moments of life.

From a painful and public divorce to two heart attacks, Tom talks about the importance of his faith in Jesus to his ability to weather difficult storms. He explains how the first heart attack ultimately led to his book “The Narrow Gate: Fatherly Advice for Navigating the Pathway to Your Best Life“. Lying on a hospital gurney not knowing if he was going home to Jesus, Tom shares that the “dominant” thought was he had not poured enough wisdom into his kids.

Tom takes us through a few of the chapters, starting with what he has learned about the source of real joy and happiness–deep relationship with God and others. He explains why money and achievement do not bring happiness.

He also explains the importance of sharing our stories–not only so that others can walk with us through them, but so that we can make a connection with those who need us to walk with them through their stories.

He ties it all back to the core of NCS–growing deeper in friendship with Jesus and friendship with others by “showing up”–“showing up” not for what you can get but because you might be able to impact the life of another man. Tom transparently tells stories of how he has “shown up” for others and how others have “shown up” and walked with him through life’s valleys.

Newly retired from a long and successful career in investment banking, Tom describes navigating the transition to a new season of life. He also explains the importance of being present to the moment, living one day at a time, even as we reflect on the past and plan for the future.

This is God-inspired wisdom for leading a life walking in the Way of Jesus–wisdom from a father to his children, from a brother to his brothers, and from a friend to his friends.

If any man truly wants to be an NCS brudder, he needs to listen to this God-inspired wisdom on what we mean by “showing up”.​

Early in his talk, Tom refers to “a message from our sponsor”. He showed a video produced by Chick-fil-A as an employee training tool. You can watch it below.

Let Us Play the Man (Ken Fish – 12/17/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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Ken Fish is not known for mincing words or dumbing down Biblical truth to make it more palatable. He laments that fatherhood is in crisis in our world, and looking to the words of Joab in 2 Samuel 10:12 KJV (“Be of good courage, and let us play the men for our people, and for the cities of our God“), he issues an urgent “call to action” for men to “play the man”–or “man-up”–as fathers. We must do it for the sake of our families, our cities and our nation.

Ken shares that, as he travels the world, the #1 prayer request from women in every nation and every country is for God to bring “a Godly man who will lead my household”. He explains ways in which many men are failing to fill the Biblical role of fathers as “priests” of their family and lays out a straightforward Scriptural path to turn things around and “raise a generation of the righteous”:

  • Be of Good Courage.
  • Play the Man.
  • Give Yourself To Others

Ken asserts that the best way for Satan to destroy a country is to destroy families, and the best way to destroy families is to destroy fathers. He also explains why the restoration of righteous fathers is a necessary condition to revival.

Emphasizing that the key to this simple three-point formula is the execution, Fish walks through various Biblical passages that provide guidance on fatherhood and manhood.

You may support Ken’s ministry at this link: https://orbisministries.org/support-orbis/

Loving the Man To Your Left and Right (Charles Paksi – 2/19/21 – NCS New Canaan)

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Charles Paksi has served in the U.S. military for 29 years, and he shares, with amazing transparency and humility, the story of his life and the men who God used to mould him into the courageous man of faith, grateful son, devoted husband, loving father and faithful friend he is today.

Although Charles does not like talking about himself, his stories also reveal how God has used him to shape other men. From those on his “left” who influenced him, to those on his “right” who he is influencing, we see how God uses the power of relationship to raise up, train and protect his children.

Paksi looks back and recognizes how God blessed him and prepared him for his future as a warrior, a leader, a husband, a father and a friend through the people he encountered and the lessons they taught him. From a father who instilled in him a deep appreciation for faith, freedom and the privilege of being an American, to the uncle who inspired him at age 7 to become a Marine, to the bully who showed him the difference between offense and defense, to the man who exhibited the power of a man on foot, to the coach and small town that helped him understand the importance of culture, to the teammate who instilled the need to be prepared at all times, to the seasoned Marines who taught him through their actions the importance of love for the man on your left and right. He knows there were no coincidences.

Charles vulnerably explains the humbling experience of bootcamp and learning that you must rely on the Marine to your left and your right. He also reflects on the first time, at the tender age of 19, he witnessed a fellow Marine get killed and then observed the courageous response of his leader. And he shares the life-changing “born again” experience when he believed he was likely to die.

Through an extensive Q&A session following his talk, Charles gives a glimpse into why his life may hold many titles and many jobs, but he is, and always will be, a United States Marine.

Shame on Me (and How To Get Free) (Hal Rosser – 7/10/20 – NCS CT Chapters)

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With great courage, humility and transparency, Harold (“Hal”) Rosser shares the amazing journey of his life, including the fears, struggles, failures and challenges, as well as the joys, victories, miracles and lessons learned.

Hal takes us along the road that brought a kid with a 1.86 GPA in college who drank heavily to being a senior credit officer at one of the most respected financial institutions in the world and then to being the co-founder of a successful private equity firm and finally to founding his own private equity firm. He vulnerably tells about his fears and how he was always trying to prove he was good enough. Hal also talks about how he came to know Jesus and the profound impact it has had on his life, both personally and professionally, including an immediate healing through prayer that has led to 25 years without alcohol.

Looking back on his life, Hal ends by sharing and explaining eight lessons learned along the way:

  • Keep asking “Am I actually fully committed to Jesus?”
  • Living for yourself leads to an empty life.
  • Being in a community with other followers of Jesus is essential and life-fulfilling.
  • Many people are hurting and living superficial lives because they lack purpose and hope.
  • We are all created uniquely and need each other.
  • We need to release the expectations we have for others (particularly our closest loved ones) and learn to delight in them as God created them to be.
  • Looking back at even our most difficult times, Jesus is with us every step of the way.
  • Shame is a barrier to loving others and feeling loved, but we can get free of Shame by experiencing the unconditional love of Jesus.

This is a story of healing for anyone who has ever felt the shame of failures or being “not enough” or who is struggling with an addiction. It is a story of hope for anyone who wonders if Jesus is real or if God really has a purpose for their life. But mostly, it is a story of God’s unceasing love for and delight in one of his children–a love and delight he feels for each of us–and the miraculous power of accepting the open invitation to meet Jesus.

“Didn’t I” Put the “It” In Your Hand? (Dr. David Young – 5/1/20 – NCS New Canaan/NoVa/Washington DC)

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Dr. David Young, founder of Oxford Analytica and formerly a member of the National Security Council staff (and Special Assistant to Dr. Henry Kissinger) during the Nixon administration, shares a lifetime of wisdom from his faith journey, encapsulated in two phrases–“Didn’t I” and “It”. It is about remembering what God has done for us and recognizing the gifts and tools He has put in our hands to steward and put to work.

As one participant noted during his talk, “This is a privileged sitting with a sage.” Another commented, “This is about as good as its been since I started coming to NCS in 2002.” The talk itself is just under 20 minutes, but it is followed by 50 minutes of rich and deep Q&A in which David talks about topics such as the spiritual dimension of politics and power, the difficult journey of building Oxford Analytica and the people who have most impacted his life.

This talk was given to a joint meeting of NCS New Canaan, NCS NoVa and NCS Washington DC on May 1, 2020.

During his talk, David referenced various resources. Here are relevant links:

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