NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Adventures of a Urogynecologist (Dr. Bob Lobel – 1/6/23 – NCS New Canaan)

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With incredible courage, humility and vulnerability, Dr. Bob Lobel shares the challenges and pain that can come from “family of origin” problems–in his case never feeling he could meet his father’s expectations.

Bob explains that, despite being seen by others as a hugely successful and confident surgeon, those childhood feelings manifested as intense “shame” that has impacted his marriage, relationships, career and life. He describes it as a “chronic illness” that requires daily “medication”.

Despite growing up in a home devoid of religion or God, Bob talks about the deep faith that has helped him survive horrific tragedies, including the loss of a child to SIDs and his first wife to cancer.

As the founder of the NCS Albany chapter, Bob shares the profound impact NCS has had in his life: his first NCS experience was a Retreat at Mohonk Mountain House, an NCS Retreat at Hershey opened the door to understanding his shame, and an NCS Retreat at the Homestead helped his family heal from the loss of his first wife.

This is an NCS brudder truly taking off his mask in the hope that revealing his pain may help others begin to face and heal from theirs.

The Journey of an Ordinary Man (Edward Russell III – 10/7/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With genuine NCS vulnerability and authenticity, Ed Russell describes what he humbly calls the journey of “an ordinary man”. It is Ed’s unique journey, and he is an extraordinary man in many ways, but in many ways it is every man’s journey.

Ed explains that there were no cataclysmic events like divorce, affairs, prison or loss of a fortune–the things that can make faith stories exciting.

Describing what he calls an “Ozzy and Harriet” childhood, Ed tells about life growing up with church-going parents in the upscale Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe. He explains how his father began getting him involved in the family business from a very young age how he navigated the road to becoming the third generation leader of Russell Development.

Russell shares the story of meeting his wife in high school, getting married, having children, putting his own mark on the family business and chasing money, success, status and toys. He then emotionally opens up about the valleys and the lessons painfully learned, such as a family tragedy at the climax of his biggest business deal. Ed describes how his relentless pursuit of “success” strained relationships with his wife and daughters and how he came to see that what he thought was “all for them” was really “all for him”. He also tenderly shares about the opportunity to ask their forgiveness.

Ed explains the journey that introduced him to a Bible study led by a man who would become a mentor and friend, how he began to grow as a husband and father, and his path to the New Canaan Society that began on a private plane to Belize.

Ed ends with a heartwarming and powerful story of how one man’s life was transformed by finding friendship and meeting Jesus in the “boiler room” of NCS Grosse Pointe.

Navigating the Narrow Gate (Tom Cole – 4/29/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With amazing wisdom and humility gained on life’s journey, Tom Cole shares the ups and downs that have allowed God to shape him, as well as the role the New Canaan Society and the friendships he has found in NCS brudders have played in his story. He reveals with tremendous vulnerability how his greatest personal growth came through the hardest moments of life.

From a painful and public divorce to two heart attacks, Tom talks about the importance of his faith in Jesus to his ability to weather difficult storms. He explains how the first heart attack ultimately led to his book “The Narrow Gate: Fatherly Advice for Navigating the Pathway to Your Best Life“. Lying on a hospital gurney not knowing if he was going home to Jesus, Tom shares that the “dominant” thought was he had not poured enough wisdom into his kids.

Tom takes us through a few of the chapters, starting with what he has learned about the source of real joy and happiness–deep relationship with God and others. He explains why money and achievement do not bring happiness.

He also explains the importance of sharing our stories–not only so that others can walk with us through them, but so that we can make a connection with those who need us to walk with them through their stories.

He ties it all back to the core of NCS–growing deeper in friendship with Jesus and friendship with others by “showing up”–“showing up” not for what you can get but because you might be able to impact the life of another man. Tom transparently tells stories of how he has “shown up” for others and how others have “shown up” and walked with him through life’s valleys.

Newly retired from a long and successful career in investment banking, Tom describes navigating the transition to a new season of life. He also explains the importance of being present to the moment, living one day at a time, even as we reflect on the past and plan for the future.

This is God-inspired wisdom for leading a life walking in the Way of Jesus–wisdom from a father to his children, from a brother to his brothers, and from a friend to his friends.

If any man truly wants to be an NCS brudder, he needs to listen to this God-inspired wisdom on what we mean by “showing up”.​

Early in his talk, Tom refers to “a message from our sponsor”. He showed a video produced by Chick-fil-A as an employee training tool. You can watch it below.

The Path of Faithfulness and Dangerous Questions (Pastor Alfred Watts – 2/18/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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Pastor Alfred Watts shares the amazing journey of faith and faithfulness that took a kid from inner city New Haven to the elite boarding school Choate Rosemary Hall to Cornell University to Howard University Law School to a Federal Court clerkship to some of the most prestigious law firms on Wall Street to becoming the senior pastor of a vibrant church in Milford, CT.

Pastor Watts explains that the most important lesson his father taught him was to remember God’s command, challenge and promise in Malachi 3:10-12 (NLT):

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.[a] Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  “Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

He shares how he faithfully gave “a penny from every dime, a dime from every dollar“, from his first job earning $150/week to his career as a Wall Street corporate lawyer and beyond.

Pastor Watts tells about the amazing blessing and provision that has come into this life. He describes how God guided him along the path, even transparently admitting the times he strayed from trusting God’s provision or delayed in his obedience and the way his heavenly Father guided him back.

He also explains how he was able to balance the demands of A Wall Street legal career with serving in his church and prioritizing his family. He talks about the boundaries he established and how he knew it was time to change jobs.

Watts also reveals how he asked God one of those “dangerous questions”. In October 2000, he cried out to the Lord, “I want to know what you can do with one man completely sold out to you!” One month later, he was asked to become the Senior Pastor of Cornerstone Church. Pastor Watts left the legal profession and was officially installed as Senior Pastor on June 17, 2001.

It is an amazing story of one man’s faithfulness to God’s commands and directions and God’s faithfulness to His word and a faithful man.

The Youth Drug Crisis (and the Power of Jesus and Friends) (Panel – 1/21/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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The drug and opioid crisis is ravaging America’s youth. With amazing courage and vulnerability, a panel of NCS brudders share how drug addiction has personally hit them and their family. More importantly, they describe how their faith in Jesus and the prayers and support of friends, particularly NCS brudders, were powerful allies in each of their spiritual battles against darkness and evil.

In the face of societal stigma around addiction, the panelists emphasized the importance, particularly for parents, of admitting the addiction problem and seeking help. They also strongly encouraged family members of addicts to seek their own support.

Doran Wright (NCS New Canaan) shares about the battle he and his wife fought alongside their son Josh, who tragically died of a Fentanyl overdose in 2020. A photo montage of Josh can be seen below.

James Lillis (NCS New Haven) shares about his own uncontrollable addiction and how he was completely and miraculously freed at Teen Challenge after turning his life over to Jesus.

Armen Abrahamian (NCS New Haven) shares with amazing transparency and specificity the long journey he and his wife have been on with their daughter, who thankfully has now been sober for the last few years.

Before the panel share their stories, retired NYS Trooper Greg Porteus (NCS New Canaan) describes a program he is launching to raise awareness about the opioid crisis and equip parents and children to be prepared in advance with “a way out”. He invites all NCS brudders to “Join the Patrol”.

Following the panelists, Rev. Richard Williams (NCS New Canaan), Executive Director of Pivot Ministries (www.pivotministries.org), shares a bit of his own story of addiction and explains the Pivot recovery program available in Bridgeport, CT.

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