Kevin Mackay served as a Corporal in the U.S. Marine Corps and for 17 years as a Stamford Police officer. With tremendous humility and vulnerability, he shares about the “moral injury” he experienced and the miraculous healing that came through his new-found faith in Jesus.
Kevin explains that the most debilitating “moral injury” came when he was a computer forensic expert with the Stamford Police investigating cases of child pornography. With amazing transparency, he reveals how having to examine unspeakable images and incomprehensible search terms drove him to a mental break. Although he began self-medicating, Kevin shares how he turned to the Stamford Police Chaplain for support. Kevin explains that he was an atheist not interested in hearing about God or Jesus, but he believed he could trust the Chaplain (NCS brudder John Revell of Life Line Chaplaincy) to listen confidentially.
Mackay explains how Revell shared with him Philippians 4, particularly verse 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” He describes how shifting his mind to the “noble” took his focus off the images of evil he had experienced. It also led Kevin to begin exploring the idea of God in various faiths. Ultimately, applying his analytical mind to Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel, Mackay knew that what was missing from his life was Jesus Christ.
Although a reluctant convert just like C.S. Lewis, Kevin goes on to share how his new-found faith has both healed him and given him a new perspective on life. It has transformed him from someone always trying to control his circumstances to someone able to look through circumstances and see the hand of a loving God with a wonderful plan. He tells how anxiety and anxiety drugs have been replaced by the healing peace promised in Philippians.
Philippians 4:6-7: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.