NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Forgiveness (Richard Warren – 11/13/20 – NCS New Canaan)

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Richard Warren (the “other Rick Warren”) shares with incredible transparency and vulnerability the journey that led him from being a successful businessman who largely ignored God and was unfaithful to his wife to becoming a devout follower of Jesus and re-marrying his wife after they had been divorced for four years.

Not only is Rick’s story one of amazing forgiveness by his wife, but it is also a story of extraordinary obedience on his part. In response to God’s nudges, he very reluctantly returned to his ex-wife to ask her forgiveness (and to ask her to re-marry him) and very reluctantly sought out an old business acquaintance to offer forgiveness. His acts of obedience and those offers of forgiveness opened the doors to miracles.

Through obedience and forgiveness (with a good dose of humility), Rick’s story of brokenness became a story of miraculous hope and healing.

The “other” Rick Warren has written a number of devotionals on the topic of forgiveness. Here are a few links for those interested in exploring this topic further.

Five Things Forgiveness Is Not

Requirements of Restored Relationship

You Don’t Have To Forget

At the 2017 NCS National Retreat, Bruce Wilkinson gave a powerful talk on the topic of forgiveness. Here it is.

Becoming Free To Heal the World (J. Kevin Butcher – 10/16/20 – NCS New England Chapters)

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[The weekend of Oct 16-18, 2020 was meant to be the 2020 NCS New England Retreat, and J. Kevin Butcher was scheduled to be our Spiritual Guide. Our theme was to be Embrace an “F-Word”: Freedom. The COVID pandemic changed all that, but Kevin graciously and generously agreed to speak to a joint meeting of the NCS New England Chapters on what would have been the first day of the 2020 Retreat (the Retreat is rescheduled for November 5-7, 2021 with Kevin).]

Kevin Butcher is like us because he is an NCS brother (a member of NCS Grosse Pointe). He is like us because he is a man. He is like us because he has struggled with the difference between “knowing Jesus” and “knowing ABOUT Jesus” (and we all know that the lyrics of the NCS theme song “Knowing You” by Graham Kendrick says it is about “knowing Jesus”). He is like us because he spent years filling the emptiness in his heart with all the wrong stuff (none of which works). Kevin shares with tremendous NCS vulnerability his “performance” life and where it led him.

But Kevin Butcher is unlike many of us because he finally “got it”. As he says, our lives begin when we realize God loves us. Butcher explains that we can’t live out the commandment in John 13:34 to love others as Jesus loves us if we have not realized Jesus’s love–not “knowing” in our head He loves us but “experiencing” His love. Kevin emphasizes through stories from his own experience how much the world is broken and hurting, how much people are looking for the healing love of Jesus, even if they don’t know it, and how healing the love of Jesus can be when poured out by us.

Butcher runs through a thought-provoking and heart-wrenching list of the types of things men use to fill the emptiness. He shares that these are “signs” and not things to “fix”–they are “signs” that we are still living in bondage, which means we may be “functional” but we are not “free”.

As we begin to get lost in the pain of seeing ourselves on (or all over) that list, Kevin then provides a path to freedom–the freedom necessary to heal a broken and hurting world by truly loving others as Jesus loves us. That path is focused on three key relationships:

  • Our relationship with ourself (hint: we have to stop lying to ourselves about ourselves)
  • Our relationship with God (hint: we have to see God is an Abba father who loves us)
  • Our relationship with others (hint: we need to move toward one another in the body of Christ to bring and receive healing through love).

Kevin Butcher is coming out with a new book to be released April 6, 2021 called “Free”. Click HERE to visit Kevin’s page at Tyndale House Publishers.

There is another song by Graham Kendrick (who wrote the NCS theme “Knowing You”) that perfectly captures John 13:34–it is called “Love Each Other”. Together, these two songs are a wonderful accompaniment to Kevin’s message. Here are the official lyric videos.

Shame on Me (and How To Get Free) (Hal Rosser – 7/10/20 – NCS CT Chapters)

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With great courage, humility and transparency, Harold (“Hal”) Rosser shares the amazing journey of his life, including the fears, struggles, failures and challenges, as well as the joys, victories, miracles and lessons learned.

Hal takes us along the road that brought a kid with a 1.86 GPA in college who drank heavily to being a senior credit officer at one of the most respected financial institutions in the world and then to being the co-founder of a successful private equity firm and finally to founding his own private equity firm. He vulnerably tells about his fears and how he was always trying to prove he was good enough. Hal also talks about how he came to know Jesus and the profound impact it has had on his life, both personally and professionally, including an immediate healing through prayer that has led to 25 years without alcohol.

Looking back on his life, Hal ends by sharing and explaining eight lessons learned along the way:

  • Keep asking “Am I actually fully committed to Jesus?”
  • Living for yourself leads to an empty life.
  • Being in a community with other followers of Jesus is essential and life-fulfilling.
  • Many people are hurting and living superficial lives because they lack purpose and hope.
  • We are all created uniquely and need each other.
  • We need to release the expectations we have for others (particularly our closest loved ones) and learn to delight in them as God created them to be.
  • Looking back at even our most difficult times, Jesus is with us every step of the way.
  • Shame is a barrier to loving others and feeling loved, but we can get free of Shame by experiencing the unconditional love of Jesus.

This is a story of healing for anyone who has ever felt the shame of failures or being “not enough” or who is struggling with an addiction. It is a story of hope for anyone who wonders if Jesus is real or if God really has a purpose for their life. But mostly, it is a story of God’s unceasing love for and delight in one of his children–a love and delight he feels for each of us–and the miraculous power of accepting the open invitation to meet Jesus.

Whose Side Are You On?: A “Third Way” To Reconciliation (Roland Warren – 6/26/20 – NCS New Canaan & NCS Bergen County)

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With tremendous honesty, passion and wisdom, Roland Warren presents a “third way” approach to racial reconciliation and healing. Warren shares vulnerably about his first experience of racism and the impact it has had on his life. He also explains how God began to reveal insights about the current cultural climate by pointing him back to lessons learned in his early days at Goldman Sachs.

Starting with Joshua 5:13-14 (see text below) and then looking at the model of Jesus, Warren urges us to put aside the “tribal” sides that divide us over issues and concepts like “systemic racism”, “white privilege” and “black lives matter vs. all lives matter” and consider what it would look like to be “on God’s side” in addressing issues of racism and racial division. Warren reminds us that we are in a spiritual battle, and that the “two sides” are really the divisive side of Satan and the reconciling side of God–that is the real choice we have to make.

Warren shows that God’s way, as modeled by Jesus, is to pursue reconciliation by changing individual hearts–that systemic racial problems will only heal when people’s hearts have been changed to embrace both justice and mercy–whites and blacks committed to fighting injustice and forgiving. Warren boldly asserts that reconciliation will never happen between a guilty person and an angry person, which is why many current narratives and efforts just bring greater division.

During his 22 minute talk and an extended 45 minutes of Q&A, Roland addresses topics such as:

  • Why messages of reconciliation are not being heard because the media needs “volatility” for news.
  • How systemic injustice toward blacks today can be compared to systemic injustice toward Jews at the time of Jesus, and how Jesus addressed the systemic by changing individual hearts.
  • The lessons we can learn from how Jesus perceived and treated victims and victimizers.
  • Drawing on his experience as President of the National Fatherhood Initiative, the need to help build strong black families.
  • Drawing on his experience as current CEO of Care-Net, the tragic reasoning that he believes leads to a disproportionate number of black abortions.
  • That truly “caring” about black lives means caring comprehensively, from “womb to tomb”.
  • How whites and blacks can (and must) move toward reconciliation by getting past positions of anger and guilt.
  • The importance of personal responsibility and forgiveness in pursuing reconciliation.
  • Practical ways whites can come alongside blacks in the pursuit of reconciliation without supporting organizations they believe have a different agenda.
  • How “God’s side” of reconciliation can be expressed in secular terms as the universal desire for “peace”.

Warren’s message and perspective is one most people have probably not heard, but it is one that needs to be heard.

Here is a link to the 2016 article Warren mentions in his talk. https://newcanaansociety.org/new-canaan/wp-content/uploads/sites/21/2020/06/washingtontimes.com-Black-Lives-Matters-real-agenda.pdf

Joshua 5:13-14 13 When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” 14 And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped[a] and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?”

I’m Not Racist, But Am I Ignorant, Uninvolved? (Dr. Mark Gordon Fee – 6/12/20 – NCS New Canaan & NCS Albany)

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In a talk he has never delivered before, Dr. Mark Gordon Fee shares how God has been directing his attention and wrenching his heart in the light of the protests that have followed the death of George Floyd. Fee shares transparently from his own life experiences of fear, pain and anger that have been helping him recognize his ignorance about racism and, at the same time, become less ignorant. He also vulnerably admits that he has yet to understand what “involvement” should look like for him.

At the end of Fee’s talk, NCS brudder PJ Johns shares some impromptu reflections on growing up black in Westchester County, NY and raising his children in Fairfield County, CT. PJ concludes the only color that really matters is red–the color of the blood of Jesus shed on the cross for every human.

These are not messages about blame or victims or movements or politics or protests or riots. They are messages from two committed followers of Jesus sharing their hearts and their pains. They are messages about how we might “see” each other with more compassion and begin to honestly explore how to love each other as God first loved us–as just “brothers” with no chromatic descriptors.

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