NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Live to Forgive Through Empathy (Jason Romano – 11/22/19 – NCS New Canaan)

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With tremendous transparency and authenticity, Jason Romano shares the painful story of estrangement from his father. He takes us on a journey from childhood to the depths of hurt, resentment, unforgiveness and bondage, and then explains how that journey finally took a God-orchestrated turn toward forgiveness, freedom and healing. Romano also reflects on the rampant unforgiveness in our society and the damage it is doing.

In recounting the journey, Romano admits how difficult it is to truly forgive as Jesus forgives us. He vulnerably shares how for many years he responded to hurt by hurting back from a place of bitterness and anger. He finally came to understand that forgiveness is not about the other person–it is about you. But most importantly, he came to understand that the key to forgiveness is empathy–what Romano now calls “the antidote to life”. Romano shares that being able to finally have empathy for, and forgive, his father, started him on a life of forgiveness.

A Call to Virtuous Masculinity (Fr. Louis Leonelli – 11/8/19 – NCS New Canaan)

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Father Louis Leonelli starts by sharing a bit of his life story, including his radical and miraculous conversion from a successful Wall Street businessman pursuing wealth, woman and a music career to a humble Franciscan friar serving the homeless in the South Bronx.

Father Louis then examines “masculinity”–real “toxic” masculinity, the normal masculinity that our politically correct culture has deceptively labeled “toxic”, and finally, the “virtuous” masculinity we are called to pursue as followers of Jesus. In exploring virtuous masculinity, he explains and stresses the virtues of temperance, sacrifice and humility. Father Louis ends by sharing what he believes to be the three most important priorities in the pursuit of virtuous masculinity: (1) develop and nurture a relationship with God, (2) develop and nurture relationships with the small circle of people whom we love and who love us and (3) in whatever our stations or callings in life, strive to be the very best version of ourself we can be, all to the glory of God.

Add Virtue Above All (Joseph Holland – 10/25/19 – NCS New Canaan)

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Drawing from his own experiences as well as his knowledge of American history, Joseph Holland shares 3 of the 12 virtues highlighted in his upcoming book “Vigorous Virtues”. Holland explains what he calls “The Three C’s”–Courage, Compassion and Civility. Joe posits that the deterioration of public and political discourse in America reflects a loss of foundational values. He points out that 2 Peter 1:5 instructs Christians to add “virtue” to their faith before anything else.

Holland describes how Courage requires us to be “pugnacious” and “prayerful”. He then explores Compassion and urges that it come with guidance (help people grow beyond the need for the assistance) and caring. Finally, Holland discusses “Civility”, which he believes is the most important virtue in light of the diminishing civility in America. He describes Civility as a process of “letting go” of cultural and sociological baggage and “leaning in”–taking action toward reconciliation and forgiveness.

Holland’s talk is an important one for this chapter of American history.

12 Ways To Make Work a Prayer

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As a senior partner in a global consulting firm and a deacon in the Catholic Church, Gauthier Vincent is uniquely positioned to contemplate the intersections and integration of faith and work. He shares 12 ways he has found to ground his work in his faith, and explains how he applies these practically on a daily basis in his own life.

  1. Embrace the purpose of your work (remember all the people whose welfare our work contributes to)
  2. Realize your freedom (just follow Christ)
    Ideas 1 and 2 are about growing in gratitude and in spiritual freedom
  3. Practice a life of virtues at work (even work becomes a good habit, i.e., virtue and a school of selflessness)
  4. Do it right and make it beautiful (beauty always leads to contemplation)
  5. Always be cheerful (joy calls on Joy)
  6. Live the Gospel literally whenever you can (as you take the last seat and sub-optimize your work, you trust in the Lord)
  7. Welcome Christ in everyone (look at the Christ image in all, from the CEO to the janitor)
    Ideas 3-7 are about living the right way, as a child of God
  8. Cultivate the Presence of God during the day (turn your heart to the Lord with ejaculatory prayers, sweet words, e.g., as your watch beeps every hour)
  9. Practice the Examen (reflect on your day and look for how the Lord touched you through consolations and desolations)
  10. Begin and end your day in a contemplative mood (begin with a time for Scripture and Silence and the Silent Presence will stay with you during the day)
  11. Let the cross transform you (above age 25 one learns essentially through failures and suffering; there the Lord comes closer)
  12. Love the world and everyone in it (if you don’t work with love you deprive your co-workers, family, clients, etc.. of the real value of your work, i.e., the love with which you work)
    Ideas 8-12 are about the mystical life at work, the life of union with the Beloved

Understanding Changes Everything (Dr. Mark Gordon Fee – Couples Session 2 – NCS New England)

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The 2019 New Canaan Society New England Couples Retreat was held September 14-15 at the Heritage Hotel in Southbury, CT. The theme was “Understanding Changes Everything”. Dr. Mark Gordon Fee was our Guide. This is Session 2.   Below is a link to the materials for the Couples Retreat.

2019 Couples Retreat Handout

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