NCS New Canaan

Founding Chapter

Adventures of a Urogynecologist (Dr. Bob Lobel – 1/6/23 – NCS New Canaan)

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With incredible courage, humility and vulnerability, Dr. Bob Lobel shares the challenges and pain that can come from “family of origin” problems–in his case never feeling he could meet his father’s expectations.

Bob explains that, despite being seen by others as a hugely successful and confident surgeon, those childhood feelings manifested as intense “shame” that has impacted his marriage, relationships, career and life. He describes it as a “chronic illness” that requires daily “medication”.

Despite growing up in a home devoid of religion or God, Bob talks about the deep faith that has helped him survive horrific tragedies, including the loss of a child to SIDs and his first wife to cancer.

As the founder of the NCS Albany chapter, Bob shares the profound impact NCS has had in his life: his first NCS experience was a Retreat at Mohonk Mountain House, an NCS Retreat at Hershey opened the door to understanding his shame, and an NCS Retreat at the Homestead helped his family heal from the loss of his first wife.

This is an NCS brudder truly taking off his mask in the hope that revealing his pain may help others begin to face and heal from theirs.

Miracles of Men in Relationship (David Grizzle – 9/9/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With tremendous NCS transparency, David Grizzle shares how he has experienced and witnessed the miracles that can happen when men are in deep, grace-filled and accountable relationships with each other.

On the eve of the Memorial Service for NCS brudder BJ Weber, Grizzle explains the very special relationship he had with BJ, going back to the first day BJ arrived in New York City. David talks about how, with BJ’s help, he learned compassion through “borrowed suffering”.

David vulnerably describes the irrational anxiety and panic attacks he felt and suffered during the COVID pandemic, not because of the pandemic but because of the devastating impact it had on markets, financial portfolios and businesses he was overseeing as a Board member. He shares how he began to recognize the power of idols in his life, and how he was able to find peace by finally forgiving himself.

Finally, David explains why he believes that men need other men–not only to help pull each other out of the “holes” we dig ourselves into but also to help each other reach all that God intends for us.

Navigating the Narrow Gate (Tom Cole – 4/29/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With amazing wisdom and humility gained on life’s journey, Tom Cole shares the ups and downs that have allowed God to shape him, as well as the role the New Canaan Society and the friendships he has found in NCS brudders have played in his story. He reveals with tremendous vulnerability how his greatest personal growth came through the hardest moments of life.

From a painful and public divorce to two heart attacks, Tom talks about the importance of his faith in Jesus to his ability to weather difficult storms. He explains how the first heart attack ultimately led to his book “The Narrow Gate: Fatherly Advice for Navigating the Pathway to Your Best Life“. Lying on a hospital gurney not knowing if he was going home to Jesus, Tom shares that the “dominant” thought was he had not poured enough wisdom into his kids.

Tom takes us through a few of the chapters, starting with what he has learned about the source of real joy and happiness–deep relationship with God and others. He explains why money and achievement do not bring happiness.

He also explains the importance of sharing our stories–not only so that others can walk with us through them, but so that we can make a connection with those who need us to walk with them through their stories.

He ties it all back to the core of NCS–growing deeper in friendship with Jesus and friendship with others by “showing up”–“showing up” not for what you can get but because you might be able to impact the life of another man. Tom transparently tells stories of how he has “shown up” for others and how others have “shown up” and walked with him through life’s valleys.

Newly retired from a long and successful career in investment banking, Tom describes navigating the transition to a new season of life. He also explains the importance of being present to the moment, living one day at a time, even as we reflect on the past and plan for the future.

This is God-inspired wisdom for leading a life walking in the Way of Jesus–wisdom from a father to his children, from a brother to his brothers, and from a friend to his friends.

If any man truly wants to be an NCS brudder, he needs to listen to this God-inspired wisdom on what we mean by “showing up”.​

Early in his talk, Tom refers to “a message from our sponsor”. He showed a video produced by Chick-fil-A as an employee training tool. You can watch it below.

Listen, Leap and Let God Be God (Kevin O’Bryan – 4/1/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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With NCS humor, humility and honesty, Kevin O’Bryan shares the incredible journey that led him to walk away from a successful career in architecture and project management in order to partner with his wife, Maria, in a new film and TV venture they call First Fruits Entertainment. He reveals how he has learned (through trial and error) to listen to God, take leaps of faith and then let God be God.

O’Bryan humbly shares a circuitous journey that revealed to him the truth and power of Matthew 6:33: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Kevin describes how the idea for their first film, Blue Jacket, came to him before he went to college when he was acting on the TV show “Buffy and the Vampire Slayer”. O’Bryan then shares how his life took many twists and turns before that idea resurfaced years later.

He explains how his life began to change in dramatic ways when he heard the voice of God and decided to follow it. Most dramatically, in college God gave him the plan and promise that would follow him to this day: If he took a leap of faith and moved to NYC and started a career in the arts (abandoning his planned career as an architect), God would take him on an incredible journey, he would meet his wife, and his family would join him in his new-found faith.

With tremendous transparency, Kevin shares how every element of that plan and promise from God has unfolded. He talks about how he took a leap of faith and moved to NYC to pursue the arts, and he met Maria. He vulnerably recounts how worldly financial concerns and the feeling that he had to be the “provider” for his family led him to put that plan and promise aside for 18 years pursuing financial security through a successful architecture and project management career. He also reveals how, when the stress from that path became too much and he hit a wall, God lovingly showed him his disobedience, reminded him of the plan and promise, and then showed him what was possible if he listened for God’s voice, took a leap of faith and let God be God.

Kevin admits that when he shared with Maria that he wanted to quit his secure job and pursue First Fruits Entertainment with her, she replied “Finally.”

During Kevin’s talk, he showed a “sizzle” teaser for Blue Jacket. Although the audio of that teaser has been edited out of his talk, you can watch it below.

For more information on Blue Jacket (including how you can participate), visit the Blue Jacket website HERE

The Path of Faithfulness and Dangerous Questions (Pastor Alfred Watts – 2/18/22 – NCS New Canaan)

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Pastor Alfred Watts shares the amazing journey of faith and faithfulness that took a kid from inner city New Haven to the elite boarding school Choate Rosemary Hall to Cornell University to Howard University Law School to a Federal Court clerkship to some of the most prestigious law firms on Wall Street to becoming the senior pastor of a vibrant church in Milford, CT.

Pastor Watts explains that the most important lesson his father taught him was to remember God’s command, challenge and promise in Malachi 3:10-12 (NLT):

Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! Your crops will be abundant, for I will guard them from insects and disease.[a] Your grapes will not fall from the vine before they are ripe,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.  “Then all nations will call you blessed, for your land will be such a delight,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.

He shares how he faithfully gave “a penny from every dime, a dime from every dollar“, from his first job earning $150/week to his career as a Wall Street corporate lawyer and beyond.

Pastor Watts tells about the amazing blessing and provision that has come into this life. He describes how God guided him along the path, even transparently admitting the times he strayed from trusting God’s provision or delayed in his obedience and the way his heavenly Father guided him back.

He also explains how he was able to balance the demands of A Wall Street legal career with serving in his church and prioritizing his family. He talks about the boundaries he established and how he knew it was time to change jobs.

Watts also reveals how he asked God one of those “dangerous questions”. In October 2000, he cried out to the Lord, “I want to know what you can do with one man completely sold out to you!” One month later, he was asked to become the Senior Pastor of Cornerstone Church. Pastor Watts left the legal profession and was officially installed as Senior Pastor on June 17, 2001.

It is an amazing story of one man’s faithfulness to God’s commands and directions and God’s faithfulness to His word and a faithful man.

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